Vic has been practising and thinking about the idea of mindful running and how instead of counting her calories, competing with times or racing her peers for her it’s about slowing down and taking in her surroundings and being mindful of her environment. She’s thinking about the changing seasons, the way the sun filters through the leaves, the air temperature and whether it’s raining or windy or mild or frosty, or the sound of her feet on the different surfaces and noticing the things all around her.
“I found that running right through the year gives me a connection with the seasons and the changing weather conditions and makes me more aware of the environment. I go out in most weather conditions bar thick ice and heavy snow, and have managed to keep up the regular running on the whole, with a few blips along the way. There’s something about battling the weather conditions that makes me feel really alive.”
Exploring ideas around running
Background. How I started running.
“I was thinking about a chat I had with Paddy at the Artlink session yesterday. He asked me how my health is. I had a think about this before I answered. I was pleased he asked me about my health in general, and not just my mental health – although the Artlink project I participate in is a mental health project. Because I do think (and it’s no great surprise) that my mental and physical health are strongly linked, and as time goes on I realise that whilst I can’t change the fact that I have a ‘severe and enduring’ mental illness (as the NHS categorise it) there is a lot I can do to help myself, and I feel that in many ways I have become an expert in my own mental health.
I was diagnosed fourteen years ago this month, following my first major psychotic episode, and over the years I have had periods of mental illness and mental wellness. And periods of being physically fit and unfit. My weight in particular has fluctuated, largely influenced by different medication regimes, some of which have made me feel sedated, and unable to motivate myself to get out and do things – in particular physical activity. But also it is well known that the medication can slow your metabolism, and stimulate your appetite meaning that it becomes almost inevitable that one would put on weight. I remember one particular medication that I was prescribed that made me only want to sleep and eat. Every time I sat down I fell asleep. And I became quite heavy, putting on three stone. I then lost it all over a period of nine weeks in hospital when they changed my meds to one that made me restless and agitated and I paced the corridors and the weight fell off.
I guess it’s not just the medication that has impacted on my physical health, but also the illness itself, meaning that at times when I’m unwell I lose motivation to exercise, or feel so caught up in my own head that the idea of exercise doesn’t occur to me or interest me. And not forgetting I’m human, and ‘normal’ people go through periods of being more, or less motivated to exercise. I also had a tendency to self medicate with alcohol which whilst helpful in the short term, ultimately had a negative effect on my mental and physical health.
I started running in 2011 initially as a way to manage my weight, in tandem with joining Weight Watchers following a five month stay in hospital (a place where it’s difficult to stay active), and various changes in medication. I’d also had a baby. It was a runner friend of mine who inspired me to try it. She was training for a marathon and exulted in the merits of running. I was worried about how difficult I would find it being overweight, and I planned to delay the start of my running until I’d lost weight, but my friend encouraged me to give it a go there and then, suggesting that it would help with the weight loss. I had a pair of running shoes from a few years ago when I had attempted a couch to 5k plan, but not kept it up, so I went out that week and jogged for 20 mins, and went on from there.
What I soon realised was how good running made me feel. The running session itself was hard work, and like a lot of people I found it a battle to keep going, but the benefits were so obvious. I would feel so good after a run, with the endorphins, and it was an immediate pick-me-up. As well as helping me manage my weight it reduced my level of anxiety, it de-stressed me, gave me a greater clarity of thinking, helped me feel real, got me physically fit with all the benefits that go with that, and improved my self esteem due to the physical improvements I felt in my body and my improved mental health. I lost 2 stones over a period of three months and my fitness began to improve.
I built up my fitness gradually, going out three times a week and increasing the distance I was running week by week. At the time I lived in Edinburgh, and I chose routes along cycle paths, or by the canal or the Water of Leith, or in parks. Green spaces in the city that I enjoyed running through. It got me out of the house and I hate the expression but it gave me some ‘me time’
Mindful Running
I had a few local Edinburgh friends who were running and occasionally I would join one of them for a run. I was a bit self conscious as i’m quite slow – I am probably more of a jogger than a runner, and I don’t tend to run big distances. But at that stage I did mostly run on my own.
I did my first 10k in March 2012, a night race called The Mighty Deerstalker near Innerleithen. Then I did a winter 10k race that was twice round Arthurs Seat, eight months later that I completed in 1hr 7mins which I was pleased with. I don’t have a runners body, and I’ll never be a champ, but it doesn’t prevent me from taking part.
I found that running right through the year gives me a connection with the seasons and the changing weather conditions and makes me more aware of the environment. I go out in most weather conditions bar thick ice and heavy snow, and have managed to keep up the regular running on the whole, with a few blips along the way. There’s something about battling the weather conditions that makes me feel really alive.
One day about three years ago I was having a chat with a psychologist whom I’d been seeing for a while about managing various aspects of my illness, and we got talking about my running experiences and she asked if I could try running mindfully. We had been discussing mindfulness as a practice which can help manage anxiety, and anxiety had been causing me some difficulties. So I had already begun experimenting with mindfulness techniques under her guidance, and having some benefits from trying it. Mindful running seemed like the next step. We just sort of invented it between us.
The way I think about mindful running is that it is like a version of mindfulness but outside and more physical than the usual practice. The first thing I do is just like the sedentary practice – I think about my breathing. Because I’m running or jogging my breathing should be regular if I’m on the flat but will increase if running on an incline. At any time should my attention wander I can bring it back to my breathing. Noticing my breathing is a really good way of grounding myself.
Once I’m into some sort of rhythm I make sure I’m in the moment, noticing how it feels to place each foot on the ground, noticing the rhythm of my breathing, my feet on the ground, my arms at my waist. I look around me and take in the view wherever I am. If I’m by the loch, or in the woods, or on the street I notice things about my surroundings. The way the sun filters through the leaves or the sound of my feet on the different surfaces. I am thinking about the air temperature, and whether it’s raining or windy or mild or frosty, and I notice the things all around me. Thoughts come and go, and I try to not judge the things that go through my head, but try to stay focussed on the activity and be present. If I need to I bring my attention back to my breathing.
Before I tried mindful running I was worried that I would end up focussing on the discomfort of the exercise, and that it would be too difficult to run like that, but it is not like that. I have never tried mindful running on a treadmill. I don’t think it would work for me. I hate running on a treadmill.
Social Running
I moved across the river to Fife last year with my husband and daughter. She was starting primary school. I had a bit of a break from the running over the school holidays, but joined a local high intensity interval training (HIIT) group run by a mum at the school my daughter started at, and picked up my fitness training again. It was good to meet local mums at this group, it helped me settle in and get to know folk, and the sessions were at the local park which was good as I enjoy exercising outdoors. I kept this group up through the autumn and winter. I also picked up the running again last autumn, and tried out local street routes, improving my fitness gradually.
Through the new friends I made at the HIIT class I was invited up to Townhill Loch for a run one morning after school drop off. I got a lift there (didn’t have a driving license at the time so relied on other folk) and a new friend of mine (Hazel) wanted to come and try to run for the first time. A circuit of the loch is about a mile, and we went twice round. Hazel was delighted. We chatted most of the way round, and then went to the cafe for a hot chocolate at the end. It was a very sociable experience. It wasn’t particularly mindful, but I enjoyed the social interaction. This is the way things have been over the last year in my running. Hazel and I run at a similar speed and enjoy passing the time of day on our regular runs. We motivate each other to keep it up and keep improving. It has become a very sociable activity for me now, as I run with Hazel two to three times per week, as well as taking part in Artlink group running sessions around various locations in Edinburgh.
I still use aspects of mindfulness during my runs, I especially notice things about the environment I’m running in, the change of seasons, and at a harder pace or on an incline I don’t talk but I do concentrate on my breathing and my footwork and arms. I don’t think mindful running is impossible to do when you’re with other people… you just have to adapt the practice to suit the situation.
My mental health has improved since moving to Fife, for many reasons, not least for the fact that I am running regularly and still going to the HIIT class each week. I have my driving licence back again for the first time since 2010. This has allowed me to try out all sorts of new running routes around Fife in woods, by lochs, in parks, etc. As well as meeting up at various venues in Edinburgh for Curious Routes.
I joined a beginners Jog Scotland group in Dunfermline three months ago, and have been taking part in group training sessions on a Sunday morning, with two training sessions mid week. We have been trying out a variety of training methods under the tuition of more experienced runners. I have been experimenting with distance and speed. The group will be graduating on 3rd December at a Parkrun in Edinburgh, and I plan to join the intermediate group following on from this. There is a group Facebook page we use for posting post-homework selfies each week, and people can discuss their progress or difficulties and the group usually respond in a positive way. It is something a bit different. I am enjoying it.
Next things to discuss:
- Routes and how to map them or document them. Running experiences with Artlink’s Curious Routes.
- What running means
- Running as art
- Taster sessions